the el andar prize for literary excellence

THE PAULA AWARD: FIRST PLACE
The Remains by Sara Inés Calderón

I am the remains.
I’m the worker, the middle-class
          the honeybee.
I’m the reason for living.
The breath of summer.
I found the remains—
I am the remains of
          Azteca, Inca, Maya, India, and everything else
wounded that was...
The remnants of a society so good, so
          complex
that you and yours can’t believe it.
There is much to be said of the
          fable you have spun,
                    the story that you have decided is history.
I’m the giver, the mother, and
          the father.
I’m myself and the world all in one living
          being.
The trials played no longer apply, there’s
          too much shit to go around.
Sweep up the remains, remnants, leftovers,
          not-wanted’s and whatever else is back there.
I am a cave of wonders.
No religion is best religion.
The state of being overall.
I’m a peon, your servant—
I’m a cure for what ails you.
The impeccable, indestructible mujer.
I’ve become the remains, I’ve transformed them to
          beginnings.
Tired of being second best.
I’m the all powerful—unbelievable—the beautiful—
A product of natural selection...
I will rise like bread, I will rise
          like cream, I will rise so high
You’ll believe me to be a cloud
made of earth.
I’m the remains of the remains.
I’m what rises up from the ashes—
          that pesky phoenix.
I want to say you can’t break me, I want to tell you
          I’m indestructible.
I’m the stuff dreams are made of
The only fallacy come true.
Once I discovered what remained—
          and was rather startled at
                    what I found.

© 2000 Sara Inés Calderón and El Andar Magazine